Top Notch or Not
by MyShipsAreNotNormalButMUSTSHIP
Summary: Whether they were fighting or making love was unclear, but everyone just assumed it was pretty much the same thing with them. They had done everything that most couples do except for one major thing.


Everyone at Colorado State was just waiting for it. It was common knowledge that Kyle Broflovski and Eric Cartman were a couple that could outrival, outfight, and out-kiss any other couple in the whole college. They had been together since their high school graduation, moved into an apartment together, and (according to several roommates, the increased rent from the landlady, and the hints from Kenny McCormick) had vigorous and intense experiences. Whether they were fighting or making love was unclear, but everyone just assumed it was pretty much the same thing with them. They had done everything that most couples do except for one major thing.

"Place your bets here, ladies and gentlemen and any other pronouns you prefer!" called the infamous Clyde Donovan. Clyde was the school's main bookie for any bets that occurred, and this one was a bet for the century. "You don't know what you're missing!" The crowds flooding the hallways shoved pieces of paper at Clyde as they rushed to their next classes, most flipping him off with a friendly grin on their faces. Clyde returned the favor before beginning to pick up some of the papers.

"Gee, I don't know, uh, Clyde, what am I missing?" a teasing feathery voice came from behind him. Clyde yelped and turned before grinning at his girlfriend.

"Well, other than me right now, you're missing out on getting in on this bet! Even Marsh is surprisingly trying to round people up to Cartman's side, but everyone's mainly voting for Kyle. Marjorine, who do you think i-"  
Marjorine held up one hand and tossed her blond pigtails. "I'm not getting involved, uh, in this, Clyde. I think that they'll both do it when they're good and ready. And anyways, no one's betting on whenever we might…y'know." She blushed a little.

Clyde grinned even wider and dramatically tossed his notebook aside before getting down onto one knee. "Marjorine Stotch, I've felt this way for a while now," he began, taking her hand into his.  
"Clyde, good golly! Not-not right now!" The crimson color on her face was a perfect camouflage into the bright red of Clyde's jacket, which Marjorine felt herself being pressed up against as Clyde got to his feet and took her into his arms.  
"Don't worry, princess, everyone will be betting on when we're going to get engaged next. Except for, of course, with Kyle and Cartman the bet is that we have no idea which one will propose to the other one, which is why I have money riding on each side." He kissed her on the side of the head and smiled fondly at her. "Gotta go to class. See you later!" They parted ways for class, and soon the halls of the school emptied. All students were in their assigned classes…well, almost all of them.

* * *  
Eric sleepily blinked his eyes open. The first thing in his line of vision was something fuzzy and red. He smiled and blinked again, this time focusing in on his sleeping boyfriend's bedhead which barely peeked out of the covers. He gently pulled a corner of the blanket down and softly kissed Kyle's shoulder. "Moooorrrnnniiinnnnn'," Eric drawled out. He then ducked his head right before Kyle's arm swung over,

"I'm tryin' sleep…asshole…night time," Kyle tried to inform him as clearly as he could while mumbling through the pillows.

"Fine, Jew, I guess we have a few more minutes. It's only…" Eric rummaged for his phone. He leaned over the side of the bed, his butt sticking out right by Kyle's arm as he checked the time. Kyle groaned and turned in bed.  
"Look, fatass, why don't we-" He froze as Eric's fatass was directly in arm's length. He grinned before giving it a small pinch. "C'mon, you know you want to stay with me!" Kyle pointed out, sitting up in bed and laughing heartily at Eric's small grimace over the pinch.

They looked at each other for a sweet moment before Eric then sighed and dropped his phone over the side again before taking Kyle's face in his hands and very gently kissing him. "Fiiinnneee, we can just hang out today. Screw all our grades and parent's dreams. You, you sneaky stupid Jew, are more to me." Kyle grinned in triumph and planted small kisses all over Eric's face happily, his arms encircling his lover before his face suddenly paled. "Wait, what time is it?"

Eric was in pure bliss as he mumbled a very unsatisfactory answer. "I'm serious, Eric, what time is it?!" Kyle asked, taking him by the shoulders and shaking him a little. "I need to know!"

Eric groaned, his cloud of bliss floating away as he gave Kyle a look. "I fucking knew it, I knew you'd snap out of it. It is 10:35, Kahl. Don't throw a hissy fit, love," he pleaded as Kyle began sliding off the bed, searching for his shoes in a panic. "Kahl, calm your tits. We'll be fine," Eric soothed, slowly slipping on whatever clothes Kyle was desperately flinging at him.

"No it's not fine, Cartman! I'm presenting in class today and we just missed two classes and if we miss any others, we could go down a grade!" Kyle frantically scrabbled through the closet before throwing two mismatched shoes at Eric's head, who gracefully caught them and put them on without comment. He rolled his eyes, but did not comment. The "Cartman" comment had set him back a moment. Kyle rarely called him that anymore except when really, really stressed and he knw that contributing to that stress now would make Kyle very, very unhappy for the rest of the day. The old Cartman wouldn't have minded, but Eric found himself holding back more of his fucked up comments for Kyle. Of course, Kyle didn't need to know that. Eric still had his reputation (in his mind. Everyone basically understood that Cartman had softened up, but no one teased him about because, well, chili was on the cafeteria menu too much for anyone to piss him off too much).

Finally, Kyle pulled his backpack on and rushed towards the door, yelling "Zay gezunt!" before slamming the door shut.

Eric waited until he heard Kyle's footsteps fade down the stairs before he sprang up and ran to the refrigerator. Tearing it open he began to rummage behind an overwhelming supply of ham and bacon (he didn't become a saint, you assholes) before pulling out a small package wrapped in white paper. This was it. He took a deep breath and undid the packaging, revealing a square black velvet box. It was finally time to show that, despite what happened in the bedroom, he was still the "guy" in their relationship and he was going to propose to his sweet Jew boy. There was absolutely no way that he would ever see it coming, and hopefully the shock value of him proposing in public would count for something. He pulled on his backpack and smoothed his hair a little before taking a deep breath and turning, attempted to confidently stride out the door.

Kyle ran down the hall and made sure he was out of hearing before he pulled his backpack off and began rummaging under a few books entitled "Caring for The Environment", "Eating Healthy for the Modern Family!", and "How to Be Happy with Being Poor". If you could package and sell a Cartman repellent, these books would be top of the line.

With a grin, Kyle pulled out a round blue silken box. This was it. He took a deep breath and licked his lips, which had suddenly gone dry with nervousness. It was finally time to show that, despite Eric being the "man" in their daily rituals, it was what happened in bed that counted, when he, Kyle Broflovski, was the man. He was going to propose to his fatass and there was no way he would ever see it coming. Hopefully it would shock him into not immediately being an ass about it, but you never could tell. With a slightly nervous, yet still happy whistle, Kyle pocketed the ring box and headed out the door of the building.


End file.
